Freedom of BLEEP

An Opinion Piece by Lenny the Liberal

The recent outbreak of sword fights across America should have you concerned. We need to act now to keep our streets safe from sword violence and ninjas. After we have banned guns and swords, murderous criminals will only be able to kill people with explosives. (Experts say that laws should effectively deter murderers from illegally using guns and swords.)

What Conservatives don’t want you to know about swords:

Over 1 million people were killed by swords, from 1147 AD to 1192 AD alone.

When guns have been banned, swords will become the second most common murder weapon (after guns).

Over 7,000 Asians are hospitalized each year due to sword related accidents.

Swords are the leading cause of Shopping Channel injuries.

This could be you. Sign the petition to ban swords and protect your family from ninjas.

Click here to sign the petition.

Up until now, content on this blog has been rather one-sided. You might call it freedom of speech.

But the Obama Administration and Congressional Democrats have other words for conservative opinions. Words like “unfair, racist, and extremist.” Accordingly, they’ve passed a bill that will allow them to censor the media (but more on that later).

In an effort to promote “fairness,” Freedom of BLEEP will now feature a new writer - Lenny the Liberal. Lenny will be writing on various social issues and the splendors of socialism whenever he finds the time. He is very busy so this may or may not happen often. Also, he doesn’t have an email address or Facebook account since these services were created through the free enterprise he opposes.

Thanks for reading.