America Needs Sword Control
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
An Opinion Piece by Lenny the Liberal
The recent outbreak of sword fights across America should have you concerned. We need to act now to keep our streets safe from sword violence and ninjas. After we have banned guns and swords, murderous criminals will only be able to kill people with explosives. (Experts say that laws should effectively deter murderers from illegally using guns and swords.)
What Conservatives don’t want you to know about swords:
Over 1 million people were killed by swords, from 1147 AD to 1192 AD alone.
When guns have been banned, swords will become the second most common murder weapon (after guns).
Over 7,000 Asians are hospitalized each year due to sword related accidents.
Swords are the leading cause of Shopping Channel injuries.
This could be you. Sign the petition to ban swords and protect your family from ninjas.
Click here to sign the petition.